The 12 Guidelines for Safe Sharing

  1. We do not allow perpetrators at SIA meetings. We may not talk about adult perpetrating behaviors--including sexual objectification--in practice or fantasy.

  2. We do not name the person when we identify and give feedback only when asked.

  3. We talk in "I" statements. If you're multiple or referring to you and your inner kids, let the group know that your we" applies only to yourself.

  4. We announce when reading or quoting non-SIA literature or sharing graphic memories.

  5. We may express intense feelings or emotions through words, or sob, during the meeting.

  6. We do not discriminate. Anger should be directed at the perpetrators specifically, not general groups.

  7. We do not name call, criticize, gossip, or violate communication boundaries.

  8. We do not break anonymity about anything shared in or out of the meeting.

  9. No "Cross Talk" while others speak, give advice, or attempt to comfort others.

  10. If someone is triggering, we step out during their share, set boundaries, take the feelings back to the original abuse, and/or comfort our inner children.

  11. We have the right to reject physical touch. Ask for permission before hugging or touching others.

  12. We do not 13th Step or ask for a romantic date in or out of the meeting.

    If these guidelines are not followed anyone may ask to reread the [full] guidelines. If violations continue, a "Group Conscience Safety Check" may be called. When situations repeatedly create a lack of safety, the group may ask a person to leave.

    When enforcing these guidelines be gentle with each other and ourselves.